I had enough! I'm really really tired of this. You know what? Being your friend is really hard. I treasured every single day with you, and happy to have you as my friend. But, do you? I always felt like i'm nothing to you.
Do you know why i always laugh so loud and i always love those who love smile? Cause to me, that's the way to get everybody together and to cover the pain deep inside my heart.
I don't know since when we became like this. But did i did anything wrong? Did i?! I just want to be myself, do what i want to do.
I always envy those best friends, best buddies that can speak right up, face to face when they get angry at each other or whatever. That's what you call true friends! Be honest to each other but not to backstab, talk bad behind their backs. Do i seriously have one? We never had a serious fight before, but we do backstab each other.
To tell the truth, i've grown up now, and i know i've changed. That's because i've become more independent, i know that some friendship cant be trusted, but some of course do. And i also understand that, in this world, nobody cant survive without anybody.
You got alot of friends, probably you just don't treat me as a close one. Sometimes (just sometimes), you barely care about my feelings. Left me out of the conversation, for the old me, I would be damn hurt and moody all day! But now, it wont be any hard feelings inside me anymore.
Last time, everytime when you guys started to whisper. I always curious and wanted to know what you all talking about and started to wonder izit backstabbing me or what. Honestly weih! LOL. I guess i just too 8 and concern about it. Now, nomore!
I'm sick and tired of behaving suspiciously. It just makes me feel so unhappy and unrelief. Sometimes, it's good when you stop thinking so much, and try to follow your heart, stop thinking negative and complicated stuffs. Just focus on my cheer practice, i feel much more happy now. I believe that time can solve everything.
This is what my true feelings are, it's not very detail actually, just don't know how to write it all out in here..
i just want to SPEAK!
